So, are you excited?

Over the last few days, that same question has come up about 10 times. "So, excited 'bout France?"

Today I noticed that my answer had snowballed into a lame, "Yeah... yeah" accompanied by unconvincing head-nodding. I furrowed my brow, slightly shocked by my lack of enthusiasm. "Very excited."

As I rode home from Greg's exec dinner tonight, I pondered over this change in anticipation. I mean, I've got a very smart, sweet and overall wonderful reason why I should be jumping with joy at the departure day countdown.

And then I realized... Over the last few days I've revisited with friends, eased back into happy company, going for lunch, dinner and bubble tea with old and new buddies. I've settled back into my home, caught up with the latest CS department gossip, and ordered a double-double knowing full well I'd be understood. Lots of reminiscing, lots of good times. Familiarity.

I'm gonna miss it. So when I say "Yeah, I'm excited," in a not-very-excited way, now you know why. Because I'm going to miss you.

On Cuteness

Ya know when you type "baby penguin" into Google Image Search that inevitably - you're gonna start fawning.



Interesting. In searching up this photo, I stumbled upon a New York Times Article on Cuteness. It's true: "Cute cues are those that indicate extreme youth, vulnerability, harmlessness and need" (called "kawaii" in Japan, where everything is eternally cute). According to them, it's our cultural predisposition to go "awww" for anything baby-like.

ie. If you are vulnerable and need help, cute ++

It's always made me wonder. Does that mean you can't be cute and powerful then? What about cute and professional? (Note that sexy + powerful/professional is easy.) I don't think I've ever seen a CEO exude any cuteness, personally. Usually, cold and authoritative gains credibility. A "cute scientist" somehow loses smart points.

Well, unless you get some of those thick-rimmed librarian glasses, but again that falls into the sexy realm (cf. Scrubs 01x1, Elliot Reed)

What a dilemmna. Cute or smart?

Well, crap

I wish I had realized it earlier.

The key to a happy life, is not working your fingers to the bone to get good grades. Stress and worry is not reduced by working harder. Effectiveness decreases the longer you work without a break. Few rewards are as sweet as time spent with friends. Yeah, yeah, cliche this and that.

So why have I been pushing away? Why have I been closing myself off from everyone?

I guess my realization came too late: School's important, but really isn't terribly fulfilling. I should've spent more of this semester around people I care about. And now it's getting too late. Greeeaaat.

So, do you like... stuff?

I'll be 23 in about an hour. I guess it's not a big deal. I've been accidentally answering "23" to "How old are you" questions for a couple months now anyway. It's an unconscious thing, don't ask me why...

Someone hinted (in a not so subtle way) that they'd like to know what stuff I like. I pondered, and pondered, wondering what "stuff" would make me happy. I'm not a material person (I only have one *gasp* multi-function handbag and I'm proud of it).

But as I was cooking the same old mixed-vegetable stirfry in my wok this evening (chop and toss!) it came to me...

I need new material. It's all about the "Teach a man to fish" mentality. Really, I want to move past the can-opener and electric water kettle. But all those recipe books are just so overwhelming. Hundreds and thousands of pages of "Easy-make" this and "Under 15 minutes" that... HOW DO I CHOOSE? The answer: I don't, and hide in the corner while my frozen lasagna heats in the microwave.

My egoistic birthday wish would be for my friends to share with me their one (and only one) favouritest home-cooked recipe.

Somehow "Tim's Mom's Black-Noodle-Thing" or "Bishnu's tupperware curry(!)" has more appeal than anything Betty Crocker ever made. Instead of "what will I make today", it'd become "who shall I eat today"? Neat! (no dirty jokes, guys)..

In conclusion, free things are often the best.

PS. Birthdays surrounded by exams suck!